Do you want to change your life?

 

You’re not alone. A study by the World Economic Forum shows that 72% of people want to change their lives.

 

You, an overachiever, wanted to change your life even before the pandemic, but because you are driven to perform, changing your life in a new direction feels risky.

 

Especially when you intuitively know the system you’ve been operating in isn’t personally sustainable. And also, when the direction you think you want to go isn’t clear and the rewards are uncertain.

 

For all of the terrible outcomes the pandemic has wrought, one of the good things that the study above confirms is that once you get out of your comfort zone and are forced to face uncertainty, you want to go forward, not back.

 

Since the pandemic has already helped you check the first box that people who create sustained behavior change do, take advantage of it!

 

People who change their lives sustainably, practice the 4 C’s. If you check another box, you’ll be halfway to changing your life. Let’s go!

 

 

1. Comfort zone – get out of it to increase its breadth and depth. This increases your adaptability and reduces your sense of risk.
   

 

62% of people don’t like to leave their comfort zone. It’s not easy. But it’s key for creating change.

 

Where what you want to do is too far out of your comfort zone, you will fail to act. Close the gap between what you want to do and what’s familiar.

 

Do it by getting out of your comfort zone in a myriad of small ways each day. Have lunch with a new person. Introduce a topic into conversation that’s outside your usual repertoire. Take a different route to work. Try something new – a cooking course works as well as sky diving.

 

Regularly doing this will help you expand your comfort zone such that your next move feels less risky and more possible.

 

Doing things that are difficult deepens your comfort zone. You are built to like easy – it’s an inbuilt survival mechanism – but easy makes you stay put if what you want to do is too hard.

 

Strengthen your staying the course muscles by doing things that are hard. Increase your weight at the gym. Run your normal route faster than usual. Ask your boss for a raise as an experiment. Speak up at an event.

 

Find something that feels hard to you and do it to deepen your comfort zone such that your next move feels less difficult and more viable.

 

2. Clarity – create this to guide your life like a compass. Next steps feel easy when you know where you are going.

    

   

   How clear is your vision of what you want? If it’s unclear, how well do you know your values and orientation?

   A sustainable vision is built in alignment with your values. It is oriented toward the feeling you want at the end of your life.

   You must be able to name your top three values in order of priority in 30 seconds. If you can’t do that, you don’t truly know your values.

   Choosing your path based on performance orientation in which you set socially acceptable goals will not leave you feeling fulfilled at the end of your life, though you may have been very successful.

   Identify the feeling you want to have when you are on your death bed looking back over your life. That is the feeling you must start using now to guide your decisions.

   When change aligns with your values and the feeling you are seeking, it’s easy to create because it feels right.

   Once you have your vision, connect with it daily. Use it as a touch point to help you push through difficult phases of the journey.

 

3. Core beliefs – these create your framework. Refine them to see more possibilities for change.
   

    

   Your core beliefs are central to your identity. You use them to make sense of the world and understand your role in the wider universe.

   These beliefs began being created when you were an infant. You began building upon them yourself in early adolescence.

   When in your life have you stopped and done a gaps analysis to understand if these core beliefs support what you are trying to achieve?

   

   Core beliefs can expand or constrict your horizon. Break yours open to understand how a small belief such as “time should not be wasted” informs every single thing you do in your day.

   When you do, you’ll see where the old beliefs no longer support your current context.

   When your relationship to time is redefined as “I will be fully present in each moment” you get a different outcome. You are able to slow down because you feel less pressured to make each moment count.

   Being present, you are able to change, away from what you knew and wasn’t working, toward what you don’t know but intuitively sense is what you are seeking.

 

4. Consistent action – put regular effort into being the change you want to create and do it before you are ready.

   You will never feel fully prepared and ready for change. If you do, it’s likely because you’ve endured pain points for so long, anything would feel better.

   Take action before you get to the end of your rope. Change made in reaction to is usually impulsive, rather than intentional.

   Sustained change that will make you feel fulfilled is possible, but only if you design it purposefully and methodically.

   After you’ve connected with your vision, brainstorm all the ways you can begin that change right now, in this moment. Write down everything you can, whether you want to do it or not.

   Then arrange it in order of priority. Take the top 3-5 and begin. Whatever you don’t do immediately, schedule on your calendar.

   Use the rule of 3 – you can move it twice, after that nothing will get between you and accomplishing that step on your road to change.

   Adapt your mindset for the long game. Regular action must be carried out for a minimum of 18 days to create an automatic habit. And that’s if you are a fast learner. Most of us automatize habits at 66 days.

   And give yourself grace. Overachievers often get stymied because they want to do it right and perfectly. Take a mastery approach to your life trajectory. You are learning. Perfection isn’t the end goal.

   If you experience setbacks, look at what you learned. How will that influence what you do as you continue to progress?

 

You are already practicing the first C due to the impact of the pandemic. Jump right into Clarity to get halfway to achieving what you’ve wanted to do for so long. Don’t wait.

 

If you want a partner, a champion, a guide, a get down in the trenches with you supporter, schedule a free call with me.

 

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With gratitude to Abhishek Scariya for his intriguing piece entitled “Mind Mix,” 2015, which instantly expands our concept of self. Find more of his incredibly diverse works here: https://abhishekscariya.com/.  Mr. Scariya is also affiliated with Art for Change, a New Delhi-based arts organization founded with the conviction that art plays a profound role in exploring questions of human dignity and the common good. Find more evocative pieces here:  https://artforchange.space/about-international-artist-residency